


the Science Kids

by nushiewrites



Category: Iron Man (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bullying, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, Friendship, Gay Panic, Group Chat Fic, Humor, Marijuana, Mixing Group Chat and Prose, Multi, Platonic Relationships, Queer Platonic Partners, Recreational Drug Use, Science, Slapping, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-08-03 05:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16319861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nushiewrites/pseuds/nushiewrites
Summary: Inspired by the fictwitter is onto somethingbypormegranateboyTony Stark has acquired a number of "science kids" over the years, mentoring their ingeniousness (well, maybe it's the other way around with Shuri). The newest addition of these kids is Peter Parker, and Harley Keener, RiRi Williams, and Princess Shuri won't let him get away without at least blowing up a lab together!Begins in between Civil War and Homecoming and takes place in the same universe as 'twitter is onto something' before the events in that fic took place





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 



> don't take this too seriously

**4:20 PM**

**Unknown** added **Peter** to **_children of the corn_ **

**Unknown:** listen here punk

 **Unknown:** what is your relation to anthony edward stark?

 

**4:21 PM**

**Peter** to **Mr. Stark**

 **Peter:** Mr. Stark I think I’m being kidnapped

 **Peter:**  Or doxxed

 **Peter:** Or both

 **Mr. Stark:** i put FRIDAY on high alert. what’s making u suspicious?

 **Peter** : [screenshot of children of the corn]

 **Mr. Stark** : dont worry, kid. thats just Harley.

 **Peter** : Harley?? As in _the_ Harley?? As in terrorist tracking Harley???

 **Mr. Stark** : kid. remember. sensitive subjects.

 **Peter:** Oh shoot

 **Peter:** I’m sorry, Mr. Stark

 **Mr. Stark:** dont sweat it, kid.

 **Mr. Stark** : but yes. The harley

 

**4:35 PM**

**_children of the corn_ **

**Peter** : Give a guy some warning next time

 **Peter** : I thought you were gonna kidnap and doxx me

 **Peter** : I can’t believe you’re THE Harley

 **Peter** : This is so cool oh my gosh

 **Unknown** : yep. He’s one of us.

 **Peter** : Wait who are you now?

 **Harley** : im harley, that’s riri, and the one who’s offline is Shuri

 **Peter** : Wait wait wait

 **Peter** : what the HECK

 **Peter** : THE RiRi Williams?

 **Peter** : PRINCESS SHURI OF WAKANDA?

 **Shuri** : sup, bih

 **Peter** : Oh my gosh

 **Riri** : yeah anyway we’re tony’s science kids, yadda yadda, he’s told you about us, he’s told us about you

 **Riri** : so welcome to the club, mr.parker! It’s nice to meet you

 **Peter** : Why thank you, Ms. Williams.

 **Shuri** : if theres flirting ur getting banned

 **Harley** : jealous much?

 **Peter** : IM SORRY IF U HATE ME FOR THIS

 **Peter** : BUT

 **Peter** : [gay silence.gif]

 **Riri** : yoooo more gays

 **Peter** : Wait what

 **Harley** : we’re the science children of _the_ Tony Stark

 **Harley** : why would we be straight

 **Peter:** wait WHAT

 **Harley** : why is ‘wait what’ your go to phrase

 **Peter** : this is all too SHOCKING

 **Peter** : I need to calm down

 **Peter** : Heck I can’t find my calc textbook how do I calm down now

 **Shuri** : make a textbook

 **Shuri** : be a go getter

 **Peter** : Good idea

 

**3:19 am**

**Peter** to **Mr. Stark**

 **Peter** : So I was making a textbook for multivar calc

 **Peter** : And I’m trying to write an example

 **Peter** : But I can't do this integral

 **Peter** : Mr. Stark plz you’re my only hope

 **Mr. Stark** : kid why are u writing a textbook

 **Peter** : I couldn't remember where I put mine

 

 **Mr. Stark** to **Peter** , **Harley** , **Shuri** , **RiRi**

 **Mr. Stark** : since im presuming you all have met

 **Mr. Stark** : which one of you told peter to write a textbook

 **Peter** : You know, I could’ve just written half a textbook if I wanted to

 **Mr. Stark** : fair point. I still dont believe you because it’s 3:30 am

 **Mr. Stark** : and since youre coming into the lab tomorrow morning, you wouldnt be up rn

 **Mr. Stark** : and coincidentally the only person who should be online right now is in do not disturb

 **Shuri** : i had nothing to do with it

 **Peter** : [screenshot of children of the corn.PNG]

 **Shuri** : i did not respond to mr. stark to get attacked by this white guy

 **Peter** : …

 **Peter** : More importantly

 **Peter** : How do I solve this?? I’m actually crying over this and it’s 3:36 am [calculus SUCKS.png]

 **Peter** : I hate math so much

 **Mr. Stark** : just two days ago you couldnt stop rambling about infinity and set theory

 **Peter** : A lot changes in two days

 **Shuri** : [solution.png]

 **Peter** : OH MY GOSH THANKS

 **Peter** : Wow you turn one (1) minus into a plus on accident and you have a whole identity collapse

 **Shuri** : for someone who is so smart to have been chosen by mr. stark, you really are a dumb donkey

 **Peter** : Donkey?

 **Shuri** : Well

 **Shuri** : I didn't wanna cuss

 **Shuri** : I _am_ a princess after all

**RiRi:**

https://imgur.com/a/Wm65R5T 

**Mr. Stark** : it is backwards

 **Mr. Stark** : hey kids?

 **Peter** : Yes?

 **Shuri** : yeah?

 **Mr. Stark** : go to sleep

 **Shuri** : mr stark it’s 9:43 in the morning

 **Mr. Stark** : sleeeeep

 

**3:47 pm**

**_children of the corn_ **

**Harley** : hot damn

 **Harley** : you really went out there and wrote a multivar calc textbook

 **Harley** : that’s attractive

 **Harley** : quick question

 **Harley** : how old are you peter?

 **Peter** : I just turned 16!

 **Harley** : that is… optimal

 **Peter** : What do you mean?

 **Riri** : DONT

 **Riri** : shuri back me up here, no flirting right?

 **Shuri** : nah bruh, this im chill with

 **Shuri** : i wanna see where it goes

 **Peter** : uhhh

 **Peter** : Flirting?

 **Shuri** : harley dont say anything just give him a moment and then he'll fuck you up

 **Peter** : I'm so confused

 **Peter** : I’m bad at puns

 **Peter** : It once took me months to finally understand a pun

 **Riri** : sweetie its not a pun

 **Peter** : Okay well then

 **peter** : Implied information can suck it

 **Riri** : moving on

 **Riri** : damn you really out there writing a multivar calc book and going through identity crisis at 16

 **Shuri** : dont call him out, its not like you’re any better

 **Riri** : hey look

 **harley** : we be geniuses, this is what happens

 

**11:26 pm**

**_children of the corn_ **

**Peter** : OH

 **Peter** : OH MY GOSH I GET IT NOW

 **Peter** : It’s optimal that I’m 16

 **Peter** : Because…………..

 **Peter** : Do I have to say it? I don’t wanna say it?

 **Riri:**  it’s okay sweetie, you don’t have to say it

 **Shuri** : sex

 **Shuri:** there now _i_ said it

 **Riri** : ….

 **Harley** : for a genius, peter, you're a dumbass

 **Peter** : I’m aware

 **Peter** : I wear it with pride

 **Shuri** : good

 **Shuri** : don't ever let the haters cut you down


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil bit more on the 'verse  
> \- Black Panther happened before this fic started but after Civil War so it makes sense for Shuri to be there  
> \- I'm assuming MJ, Peter, and Ned were all buddies before Homecoming

**11:07 AM**

**children of the corn**

**Harley** : hey peter

**Harley** : you're very new to the whole Mr. stark shabang right?

**Peter** : Yeah

**Peter** : I gotta admit FRIDAY still freaks me out 

**Riri** :  _ Well that's not very nice. _

**Riri** : sorry! I'm with Mr stark right now and Friday took over my phone for a sec

**Peter** : I'm sorry FRIDAY, but there's just nothing out there like you! I've never met anyone or anything like you, and I'm still getting used to how cool you are

**Riri** :  _ … _

**Riri** :  _ Thank you, Peter. _

**Harley** : glad that's sorted out

**Harley** : there is no scarier force than a pissed off Jarvis or Friday

**Shuri** : what did you do?

**Harley** : uhhhhh

**Harley** : for your safety its better that you don't know

**Harley** : Friday lurks

**Harley** : she's a beaut but she's always watching 

**Peter** : Ominous.

**Peter** : I like it

**Shuri** : that's the way things should be

**Harley** : FRIDAY, I want you to know that you have succeed in your tactics and I'm sorry and if you could please back off that would be great because I can't sleep and I can't do school work or work on my metallurgy project for Mr. Stark 

**Riri** :  _ Heck off.  _

**Shuri** : wh

**Shuri** : what?

**Riri** :  _ Mr. Stark has told me not to cuss in front of the children.  _

**Shuri** : aight

**Peter** : METALLURGY?!

**Peter** : Tell me everything

**Peter** : Please

**Harley** : yeah i’m creating new alloys and finding the uses for them in industrial material

**Harley** : but mostly swords

**Harley** : and hoping that i don’t blow up my face in the process

**Peter** : asdfgjk

**Peter** : That’s so cool

**Harley** : hell yeah it is

**Harley** : what are you doing?

**Peter** : Well

**Peter** : I haven’t started yet because I’ve been just helping Mr. Stark out and getting used to all the equipment he has there, because let me tell you, it’s a lot better than just getting scrap materials and rebuilding computers

**Peter** : But I think I’m gonna start designing something to like dim someone’s senses if they’re in a sensitivity overload type situation

**Harley** : hot dang

**Shuri** : wow you really be out there helping people

**Peter** : And you aren't? 

**Shuri** : Well I am, but not like  _ that _

**Peter** : What's wrong with  _ that _ ?

**Shuri** : no I mean

**Shuri** : I just make my country and my people better off economically and keep things stable by creating new tech

**Shuri** : you're like

**Shuri** : actually helping with disabilities and stuff

**Shuri** : thats really cool

**Peter** : Oh

**Peter** : Well

**Peter** : Um

**Peter** : Thank you

**Harley** : awkward gratitude aside

**Harley** : so how'd u meet Mr Stark

**Peter** : um

**Peter** : I may have done some slightly illegal stuff

**Riri** : I did some highly illegal stuff

**Shuri** : I'm a genius princess

**Harley** : he crash landed into my town in the dead of winter while he was dying and I housed him at my place but then terrorists were attacking and I helped track them and then he replaced my shitty tools with good tools and he visited on Christmas and gave me his phone number for when I was a bit older 

**Riri** : no need to brag 

**Riri** : just because you didn't do anything illegal doesn't mean you have to rub it in our faces

**Riri** : right Peter? 

**Peter** : Yes?

**_Mr. Stark_ ** is added to  **children of the corn**

**Mr. Stark** : kids get off your phones

**Mr. Stark** : don't you have textbooks to write and quantum physics to solve? 

**_Mr. Stark_** left **children of the corn**

**Shuri** : this is why I Stan one (1) tony stark 

 

**1:49 PM**

**Peter** to  **bad bitches**

**Peter** : okay so I've met Mr Starks other interns over text BC they added to a group chat

**Peter** : and oh my gosh

**Peter** : I think Harley is flirting??

**Peter** : I met princess SHURI of WAKANDA 

**MJ** : hot damn

**MJ** : hook me up w her

**Peter** : sorry mj

**Peter** : I think her and riri Williams have a thing going on? 

**Peter** : as far as I can tell

**Peter** : and I am not about to ask if she's single 

**Ned** : yo what the fu k

**Ned** : you met these people 

**Ned** : that's so fucking insane oh my god peter

**Peter** : okay but what do I say

**Peter** : I've been so awkward

**Peter** : i’ve just been like “Okay!” and “Thank you!” and using Proper Capitalization Out Of Respect

**MJ** : if theyre loser nerds like you, dont worry

**Peter** : but theyre  _ cool _ loser nerds! Not like me!

**Ned** : stop letting flash get into your head, youre just as much a cool loser nerd as them

**MJ** : did you mean  _ fl-ass _

**Peter** : i love u guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhh i want to get to this one really angsty part of the fic bc i already wrote it and im sad bc its so far away till that happens ahhhh


	3. Chapter 3

**1:35 PM**

**bad bitches**

**MJ:** hey wanna skip class, get stoned, and think about how wack theoretical physics is

**Ned** : sounds fun

**Peter:** drugs are bAD

**MJ:** lighten up, weed is legal

**Peter** : only if we’re 21!!

**MJ:** laaaaame

**MJ:** okay how bout this

**MJ:** if your new science friends are actually cool, and as much of a loser science nerd you are, then see what they say about weed

**Ned:** dont be mean

**Peter:** she says it out of love

**Peter:** and she’s right.

 

**1:45 PM**

**children of the corn**

**Peter:** Hey so quick question if I may?

**RiRi** : what is it?

**Peter:** Is following the law for waiting to be 21 to do marijuana cool or uncool?

**RiRi:** look peter

**RiRi:**  we both already did some illegal shit

**RiRi:** i aint stopping you

**Peter:** That doesn’t really answer my question...

**Harley:** stay in school, kiddos

**Riri:** you’re ONE MONTH older than me, i sWEAR

**Harley:** baby

**RiRi:** peter, when were you born?

**Peter:** October 21st 2001

**RiRi:** get fucked harley

**RiRi:** im not the baby

**Harley** : aww ittle wittwe petew

**Peter:** H-Hewwo

**Shuri** : a fewwow mwan of cuwtuwe, i see… vewy intewesting

**Peter:** Why, thank you

**RiRi** : am i having a stroke?

**Harley:** don't wowwy, i'ww save you! OwO

**Shuri:** I'ww do cpr! OwO

**RiRi:** ...the stroke is getting worse…. Shuri, my princess, save me

**RiRi:** only the kiss of a princess can save me….

**Shuri:** i'm on mwy way! OwO

**Shuri:** *tewepowts to wiwi's side*

**Shuri:** *kisses wiwi*

**RiRi** : no do it for real

**Shuri** : *kisses wiwi hawdew*

**RiRi** : teleport to me for real

**RiRi:** get your pretty mouth right next to me 

**Harley: [deleted message] (** the message read: ‘ wow how commanding, very dom like ’)

**Shuri** : no fucking way am i a sub

**Shuri:** do you even see me 

**RiRi:** HARLEY 

**RiRi:** WE HAVE A BABY 

**Peter:** Wait, what did he say

**Peter:** I’m still trying to figure out if I should physics while high. I missed it

**Harley** : i said ‘wow how comghdbkfj;a

**RiRi:** i punched him before he could finish 

**RiRi:** we’re both at the lab with Mr. Stark and we are all taking a lunch break and now he’s looking at us weirdly

**Harley:** haha riri’s getting lectured

**Harley:** oh and dont do the weed

**Harley:** i tried once and i coughed so hard all the weed fell out of the pipe

 

**2:10 PM**

**bad bitches**

**Peter:** [ https://imgur.com/U4ksQ8B ](https://imgur.com/U4ksQ8B)

**Peter:** HA 

**Peter:** >:3c

**MJ:** i knew they were all weird loser nerds like u

**MJ:** now you have no reason to be so nervous

**Peter:** did you just

**Peter:** did you just psycology me into getting more confident

**MJ:** >:3c

**Peter:** freaking psych concentrations… 

**MJ:** the brain is WILD 

**MJ:** also fuck you i do physics too in my spare time 

**Peter** : hey afterschool u wanna help me be less awkward?

**MJ:** yeah, i got nothing better to do

**Ned:** pete, youre perfect the way you are

**Peter:** ….thank you

**Peter:** but i am extremely awkward, there’s no denying that

**Ned:** yeah, youre right, let’s do this

 

**3:47 PM**

“I’m gonna respond to the text, fuck you Ned!” MJ shouted, grabbing Peter’s phone from Ned’s hand and scrambling into Peter’s closet, closing the door. 

“Hey! What do you know about coughing up weed!” Ned replied, banging on the door to the tiny closet that MJ had locked herself into. 

“Definitley, more than you, lame ass!” MJ yelled back, trying to type as quickly as she could before Ned got the door open.

“Exactly! What the hell does Peter know about weed?” he yelled back pulling the closet door open despite MJ’s struggle. Peter sat on his bed watching with his head in his hands. 

“Oh my gosh… this is not what I meant…,” he whispered in distress. Ned wrenched the phone from MJ’s grasp, with the two of them presing a ton of keys on accident in the process. As Ned finally let got a grasp on the phone, MJ reached to it in a last ditch effort of getting it back but the part of the phone her hand touched was the send button. MJ’s eyes widened. Ned’s faced paled. They shared a Look and walked over to Peter solemnly. As they sat down next to Peter, Ned patted Peter’s back solemnly. 

“So um, I may have accidentally hit send,” MJ said. Ned showed Peter the message

 

**4:01PM**

**children of the corn**

**Peter:** damn, how bad at weed do you gotta be to mess up that hard, you pussilangfjdhkbsn456las;zdhgsfjynr$%^UIdfbkhszrEJLNGKL;BLREaiote34uyi2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rest in peace, petey 'ol boy


	4. harold theyre lesbians

**4:02 PM**

**children of the corn**

**Riri:** ???

**Shuri:** damn bih what a roast

**Harley:** either me or peter could be having an aneurysm right now 

**Harley:** help

**Shuri:** wait oh my gosh

**Shuri:** you also know about pussy being short for pusillanimous??

**Peter:** Ah, sorry, my friend MJ had my phone, and, well, she gets  _ quite  _ roasty

**Peter:** I can’t really explain the keysmash though. There was a… tussle

**Shuri:** alfghkj hook me up with your friend MJ if she knows the pusillanimous thing

**Peter:** Okay!

**Peter:** Wait but you aren’t mad about that message?

**Riri:** nope

**Riri:** should we be?

**Peter:** No, no! I’m glad that you’re not.

**Harley:** whats gotcha so worked up about that anyway?

**Peter:** Well there’s this guy at school who’s kind of a jerk to me 

**Peter:** Actually, a lot of people at school are kind of a jerk to me but he’s like the ringleader or whatever

**Peter:** Whatever, it’s nbd

**Riri:** if you say so

**Riri:** but promise to tell us or at least just someone if they become more than ‘kind of a jerk’

**Peter:** Sure! 

**Peter:** :D

 

**4:34 PM**

**Peter** to  **Shuri**

**Peter:** Here’s MJ’s number! [attatched: MJ’s contact information]

**Shuri:** thanks my guy

 

**4:35 PM**

**Shuri** to  **MJ**

**Shuri:** so my pal peter tells me you know about the word pussy coming from pusillanimous

**Shuri:** is this true

**MJ:** it is very true

**Shuri:** and youre not afraid or anything to talk informally to me??

**Shuri:** youre a keeper

**MJ:** afsdgh im honored 

**Shuri:** AND youre well versed in the language of keysmashing?

**MJ:** of course i am ;)

**MJ:** i mean, it  _ is  _ the only way how a certain group of people that im in can communicate our feelings to each other

**Shuri:** you know, im in that group too

**Shuri:** i can always welcome you in wakanda if people there get too homophobic and violent 

**Shuri:** in my culture, no one really cares if youre queer or not

**Shuri:** it just is, and asking for sexuality is like asking for a favorite color

**MJ:**  you mean i didnt have to just play weird flirty mind games and couldve just asked you 

**MJ:** -_-

**MJ:** can i move to wakanda please

**Shuri:** whenever you want, you can come here

 

MJ flopped down on Peter’s bed and sighed. 

“Oh. My. Gosh,” MJ looked over to Ned, “Wakandans are amazing, did you know that Ned? I wonder if I have Wakandan in me… Ooh! I should text her that.” MJ started to laugh and it turned into giggles and her two boys flopped down and laughed with her. 

“You’re friends really are something,” Ned commented. Peter smiled. 

“I’m just glad they don’t hate me. I really gotta stop thinking that everyone is like Flash,” Peter replied. 

“Yes. You do. We gotta get it through your thick skull, you nerd,” Ned said while knocking on Peter’s forehead. Peter laughed and his nose crinkled as he playfully brushed away Ned’s hand. 

“Sto~op!” Peter said with a feigned whine. MJ made a gagging noise. 

“God, get a room you two!” she yelled, smashing a pillow on Ned’s face. 

“...MJ, this  _ is  _ my room,” Peter replied. 

“Oh, whatever.” 

 

**5:24 PM**

**MJ:** you know, i could have wakandan in me

**Shuri:** oh? 

**MJ:** oh, you, know, the standard western thing for most black people like me. ancestors enslaved from who knows where in the giant hulking continent of Africa

**Shuri:** as cool as it would be for you to be wakandan, the europeans never got into wakanda back then. we were just too good for them

**MJ:** oh, princess, tell me more

**Shuri:** (◔_◔)

**MJ:** sorry, sorry haha. i mean u didnt say anything bad about the flirting so i thought i might as well use the princess card since, well, it’s quite applicable ;]

**Shuri:** oh, shush

**Shuri:** ….

**Shuri:** it only works when pretty girls use it, and i havent seen u yet, but you seem like the prettiest

**MJ:** [ https://imgur.com/a/Zw3LqqP ](https://imgur.com/a/Zw3LqqP)

**Shuri:** SDAFJHDKBNLM

**Shuri:** oh my goshfkjs

**Shuri:** g-girls, ggay preeeettttyyyy

**MJ:** GFDHVJKNLANEVGVEJBSKJALASDFGHJK

**MJ:** well, if i may, you are looking might fine yourself, princess

**_MJ_ ** _ changed  _ **_Shuri_ ** _ ’s contact name to  _ **_Princess <3_ **

**Princess <3: ** what a nerd

**_Princess <3 _ ** _ changed  _ **_MJ_ ** _ ’s contact name to  _ **_pretty girl_ **

**pretty girl:** blech

**pretty girl:** so sappy 

**Princess <3: ** oh well fuck u too then

**pretty girl:** gladly

**pretty girl:** wait lets put this on pause i gotta go walk home ttyl

**Princess <3: ** bye! (=ﾟωﾟ)ﾉ

 

**6:00 PM**

**Shuri** to  **Riri**

**Shuri:** [screenshot of Shuri’s & MJ’s conversation]

**Shuri:** OKAY BUT DOES SHE ACTUALLY LIKE ME

**Riri:** dumb, useless lesbian 

**Shuri:** :P

**Riri:** don’t make that face at me, u know i melt

**Shuri:** dumb, useless zucchini

**Riri:** hey!

**Riri:** im the best qpp ever!!

**Shuri:** _ did you mean: coronel rhodes & mr man, the one and only, tony stark _

**Riri:** u right, u right

**Riri:** and yes, she likes you

**Shuri:** and thats why i love u

**Riri:**  love u too!  ♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my gosh so many new people like this fic aaaa! thank u so much for reading i love ur support and jsyk i dont have a formal update schedule but thisll usually be updated every 1 to 3 weeks depending on how busy i get. luv ya <3
> 
> (ps if u think something should be tagged pls lmk in the comments!!)


	5. Chapter 5

**12:02 PM**

**bad bitches**

**Peter:** h

**Peter:** flash

**Ned:** where are you? 

**Peter:** by that one tree

**Ned:** omw

 

“Hey, Petey ol’ boy, you okay?” Ned asked as he sat down next to Peter on soft grass. Peter leaned back against the secluded tree at Midtown High he found at the end of ninth grade and sighed.

“I-I can’t believe I used to be friends with him. He’s such a dick. It's like… it's not even bullying, he, he just knows so much about me that the insults he throws, they like actually hurt, cuz he knows where to make it hurt! Like it’s stupid teasing that e-everyone does with each other, but he just takes it too far, right? Like, it’s all good, right?” Peter squeezed his eyes shut. “I'm such an idiot, Ned! How could I ever have thought that he was a good person?” Ned placed a comforting hand on Peter’s shoulder. He knew that letting Peter believe it wasn’t real bullying was better, otherwise, he’d self destruct down a irrevocable path.

So, Ned resigned and said, “It’s okay, we all thought he was good.”

“Yeah, but I'm the one who ruined things and made him bad. I… look this is going to sound really messed up but I don't want you and MJ getting hurt by him. He only ever bothers me. If-If you guys were to stay away from me, then you'd be better off, right?”

“No, you idiot, we’d miss you,” Ned said lightly punching Peter’s arm. Peter snorted and leaned his head against Ned's shoulder. “And just so you know, his reaction after you told him makes him the asshole. You didn’t ruin anything.”

 

**7:32 PM**

**Mr. Stark:** kid, i just got an alert from KAREN, your vitals are rocketing what's wrong?

**Peter:** KAREN, tell Mr. Stark that I got lightly stabbed and I'm in the middle of a mugging and

**Mr. Stark:** kid?

**Mr. Stark:** KAREN, update me

**Peter:** _ Spiderman is fighting off two attackers from a twenty year old boy who got mugged. They had alien metal and were able to stab Peter through the suit. _

**Mr. Stark:** shit, does he need help? can he handle this?

**Peter:** Yes Mr. Stark I can! Argh!  _ Spiderman may need backup _

Oh C'mon Karen! I can handle this Mr. Stark! 

**Mr. Stark:** I'm coming over there. 

 

“Thanks KAREN,” Peter muttered sarcastically as he dodged a dagger from one of the assailants. He jumped and kicked the other assailant, who wielded a sword, in the chest and tried to grab the sword before he recovered, but when he grabbed the blade his hand burned. The attacker smirked. 

“What the heck, man?! What is this?!” Peter yelled, his hand feeling as though it was on fire, but looking completely normal. Suddenly, he got a tingle on the back of his neck and ducked just in time to avoid the dagger man cutting his neck. Peter shot a web at the sword man and stuck his arms to the wall of the back alley they were fighting in. Unfortunately, he didn’t react in time to a new bout of Spidey Sense, and the dagger man stabbed in the left arm. Peter hissed. 

As he shot a web at dagger man, the woosh of an engine made all three fighters stop. Iron Man flew down into the alley. 

“So I heard there was a problem here,” the robotic augmented voice of the Iron Man suit said. 

“Mr. Stark, I told you I had it!” Spiderman squeaked. 

“You were lightly stabbed,” Iron Man glanced at Spiderman's new injury, “Twice now.” 

“I’ve had worse!” The dagger man noticing attention was off of him tried to get Peter’s neck again, but thanks to Spidey sense, without even looking, Peter shot a web at dagger man and pinned him to the wall as well. “See? I can do this! There was no reason for KAREN or you to be involved.” 

“And the boy who was mugged?” Peter's eyes widened. 

“H-Hey man, are you alright?” Peter asked frantically, running over to the university student huddled in a corner. 

“S-Spiderman?”

“Yeah, that's me. Are you injured? Can you move?” 

“N-No, I'm just shaken up is all.”

“Hey, it’s okay dude, you’ll be okay. Do you want me to walk you home?”

“Ple-Please.” Peter smiled before realizing that the guy couldn't see him do so. 

“Mr. Stark, can you watch over those guys while the cops get here? I'm gonna take him home.” Peter asked, and without waiting for a response, took the guy home. 

 

**12:10 AM**

**Mr. Stark:** you really did have it. im proud of you kid, you handled that like a real hero. I'll have KAREN notify me only for more threatening situations. 

**Peter:** Ye━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━s!!

**Peter:** Thank you for believing in me

**Mr. Stark:** who wouldn't? you're a good kid, peter

**Peter:** Well

**Peter:** No, never mind, everyone believes in me

**Mr. Stark:** if you're sure. 

 

**12:20 AM**

**children of the corn**

**Peter:** So exactly how screwed would I be if, say, hypothetically, I implied in conversation to Mr. Stark that not everyone believes in me

**Harley:** oh you poor soul

**Shuri:** you don't have to worry about anything. the person who doesn't believe in you, on the other hand… wellllll

**Riri:** i think you'll need to put whoever it is in the witness protection program 

**Peter:** Oh jeez

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh hi i wrote like 2 chapters so you guys get to enjoy a double chapter treat tonight


	6. mad scientists

**3:14 PM**

**Harley:** eyy pi it

 **Shuri:** god u fucking nerd u can't say blaze it and make stoner jokes at 4:20 but when it's 3:14 you're like oh! I suddenly remember the time! wow I'm smart!

 **Peter:** *tea emoji*

 **Riri:** did

 **Riri:** did you just spell out tea emoji?

 **Peter:** I couldn’t find the emoji!

 **Shuri:** ur such a mess

 **Harley:** *a hot mess

 **Peter:** (=^_^=)

 **Peter:** Okay but for real do you even know what I look like?

 **Harley:**...maybe not but I can feel it

 **Harley:** do YOU even know what I loom like?

 **Harley:** *look

 **Peter:** Yeah, because you've all gone to galas and stuff with Mr. Stark. And paparazzi is abundant.

 **Peter:** I haven't because he said the fancy adults will eat me alive if I don't know the difference between 10 random eating spoons

 **Riri:** its true

 **Riri:** they're all pretentious assholes who act interested and then brush you off because you're a sixteen year old so they act condescending to you and try to prove why you aren't worth Mr starks time

 **Peter:** Big oof

 **Riri:** Big oof, indeed

 **Peter:** Yeah, it's a good thing Mr. Stark hasn’t taken me yet, I would cry under the pressure

 **Harley:** oh I've cried soooo much at those

 **Harley:** and then these shitsticks say ‘man up’ blah blah blah. well Mr Jared the third, gender roles are a societal construct and are not based in science so FUCK YOU TOO IM SENSITIVE

 **Riri:** shit man

 **Riri:** how often has this “jared the third” been bugging you? You told me about him one time, but was it not a one time thing?

 **Harley:** why do you think I avoid galas now?

 **Riri:** does Mr. Stark know?

 **Harley:** …no I just keep making excuses like I'm super enthralled by some research and I can't stop and usually it’s true

 **Shuri:** let's crush this Jared guy

 **Harley:** his names not actually Jared I just call him that because its funny

 **Shuri:** well either way IT'S CRUSHING TIME!!!

 **Peter:** I mean with the four of us combined it couldn't be _that_ hard to make some science pranks

 **Peter:** You know, hack into his computer, set off weird non lethal chemical reactions

 **Harley:** you know… you just might be onto something

 **Shuri:** by joe, I've got it!

 **Shuri:** Pete, you're a genius!

 **Shuri:** okay next time there's a gala, someone plants a literal robotic bug on him. then it crawls onto his phone and goes inside it through the charging port and so when he’s at his work or house through the wifi we'll have access to his computer and stuff after that. so the next gala where he has to present something, we set it so that whenever he clicks a certain key, a certain chem reaction goes off in the room making it an utter failure

 **Shuri:** oh and we change his PowerPoint to say “fingers in his ass Sunday” in comic sans 72pt hot pink color with a pic of komeada and sans

 **Shuri:** unless you know where he lives or works because getting his ip address would be much easier than this

 **Harley:** shuri, you're a madman I love you

 **Harley:** and no, i dont know that stuff

 **Harley:** okay game plan time

 **Harley:** shuri, since you're good with nano-robotics can you make the schematics, and then you can give Riri the chip with the CPU so she can program it, I can plant the bug and design rigs for the reactions to take place in the room and conceal them, and for chem…

 **Peter:** I'm good at Chem!

 **Harley:** and there we have it! Peter will come up with the reactions

 **Riri:** it’s mad scientist time

 

**5:24 PM**

**bad bitches**

**Peter:** hey for no reason in particular would you guys happen to know of some non lethal chemical reactions

 **Peter:** such as making foam go everywhere

 **Peter:** i have one idea that can make someone get stuck to something but Mr. Stark said not to use it to protect the reaction’s anonymity because it's not well known and yadda yadda

 **MJ:** use it and stuck flass to the roof

 **Peter:** No.

 **MJ:** make sticky foam instead and then stick flass to the roof

 **Peter:** I'm not sticking flash to the roof!

 **MJ:** then what's even the point?

 **Peter:** revenge

 **Peter:** but not on flash. on a big important that goes to Mr. Starks galas and bullies THE Harley

 **MJ:** so youll stick up for someone else being bullied, but not yourself?

 **Peter:** its not bullying! sure he says some assholeish stuff from time to time but I don't even think he means it! or that he knows how much it hurts!

 **MJ:** sure, Jan

 

**12:07 PM**

**children of the corn**

**Peter:** I've been thinking and

 **Shuri:** omg he's thinking for once! guys peter has a brain! /s

 **Peter:** Ha Ha

 **Peter:** okay anyway I was thinking about the chemical reactions for the gala and like

 **Peter:** I really think I might need to go to one to figure out what's viable and what's not

 **Peter:** because I came up with some stuff but, and I dunno how big these rooms are, I think they'll take up the entirety of a room

 **Peter:** and our target is Jared the hecking third

 **Riri:** peter you really can't go until you're ready

 **Riri:** don't force yourself

 **Riri:** you need a will of steel for these

 **Peter:** This is going to sound very sad, but I’ve probably been through worse than old farts being mean

 **Harley:** it’s more than being mean

 **Harley:** they’re despicable

 **Harley:** one time with jared the hecking third i accidently bumped into him causing him to spill his wine and because this was in a smaller room away from the main party on paparazzi he slapped me

 **Harley:** and that was the last gala i went to

 **Peter:** Does Mr. Stark know about that at least?

 **Harley:** im never gonna tell him

 **Harley:** like i saved america with him, im not gonna tell him that i was weak enough to let an old guy hit me

 **Riri:** you know he would destroy his life, right?

 **Harley:** it’s not worth it

 **Shuri:** or are you saying you’re not worth it?

 **Harley:** just fucking stop okay

 **Harley:** it’s fine, im fine, and we can hold off on the prank until peter is ready

 **Harley:** but im okay so just stop? Please?

 

Peter read the last message and thought ‘ _Oh. Jared is like him. And Harley is like… me._ ’

 

**3:15 PM**

**Peter** to **Harley**

 **Peter:** Hey, Harley, if you ever need to talk about Jared, I’m here. I know what it’s like. For me, it’s not some old man, but a stupid kid at school.

 **Harley:** i’ll take you up on that, as long as you promise not to let stupid school kid walk all over you like Jared walks all over me

 **Peter:** Deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's ye old angst time  
> also the reason i wrote out tea emoji instead of putting the emoji wasnt for actual plot elements, you just cant put emojis in a fic on ao3 otherwise it gets weird and glitchy


	7. karen theyre gays

 

**7:26 AM**

**Mr. Stark** to  **Peter**

**Mr. Stark:** hey kid how’s your body holding up from the alien metals? Are applying the medicine bruce gave you? Any other weird alien side effects except for the burning?

**Peter:** Yeah, I’m doing it. It healed slow, but there’s no wound there anymore so im just applying the cream until i run out of it

**Mr. Stark:** good, now that you’re better, go get rid of that pent up energy you’ve had in the lab and do some good out there

**Peter:** Will do.

 

**10:03 PM**

**Peter** to  **Mr. Stark**

**Peter:** If, say, hypothetically my best friend found out I’m Spiderman, what would you do?

**Mr. Stark:** you what

**Peter:** It was an accident! I swear! He was in my bedroom when I came back into the apartment, and I didn’t realize he was there and I took off my suit! 

**Peter:** He’s really cool about it though, and I made him swear not to tell anyone! He wants to help me and be my ‘guy in the chair’ like in all the action movies!

**Mr. Stark:** what’s his name?

**Peter:** Ned Leeds

**Mr. Stark:** if he does anything to purposely expose you, then warning him won’t be enough. he better live up to his promises

**Peter:** He will! He will!

 

**1:02 AM**

**Ned** to  **Peter**

**_Ned_ ** _ changed  _ **_Ned’s_ ** _ contact name to  _ **_guy in chair_ **

**_Ned_ ** _ changed  _ **_Peter’s_ ** _ contact name to  _ **_peter-man_ **

**Peter-man:** wow, ned, very creative

**guy in chair:** it keeps your cover!

**Guy in chair:** anyway

**Guy in chair:** i have many questions 

**Peter-man:** ask away

**Guy in chair:** do ur tony stark friends know youre an arachnid

**Peter-man:** Ned I’m still human

**Peter-man:** mostly

**Peter-man:** i think??

**Peter-man:** wait hold on let me check

 

**1:10 AM**

**Peter** to **Mr. Stark**

**Peter:** Mr. Stark, did the spider bite make me not human anymore or am I still human?

**Mr. Stark:** go to sleep kid

**Peter:** Shouldn’t you be asleep too?

**Mr. Stark:** touche

**Mr. Stark:** well played kid, well played

**Mr. Stark:** and im not sure about the human part

**Mr. Stark:** id assume you are, but your dna may have changed enough to differentiate you from homo sapiens

**Mr. Stark:** id analyze the data, but bruce has it. ask him in the morning, though, dont wake him up

**Peter:** Alright, thank you Mr. Stark!

**Mr. Stark:** glad to be of service

 

**1:20 AM**

**Peter-man** to  **Guy in chair**

**Peter-man:** so ill find out if im human in the morning

**Peter-man:** so u know dr. banner?

**Peter-man:** he knows that im spider man and he’s my doctor now since i can’t go to normal doctors anymore and Mr. Stark said to ask him in the morning if im human

**Guy in chair:** wild

**Guy in chair:** buuuut

**Guy in chair:** u didnt answer my question petey

**Peter-man:** huh?

**Peter-man:** OH oh yeah whoops rip

**Peter-man:** no they do not know

**Peter-man:** to them we are still two seperate people

**Peter-man:** or… i am still two seperate people?

**Peter-man:** i dont know man having an alter ego is so weird im so glad i can talk to you about it now

**Peter-man:** also warning Mr. Stark is now keeping tabs on u since u now

**Guy in chair:** wow how extra

**Peter-man:** i know right??

**Peter-man:** like youre ned

**Peter-man:** THE ned leeds

**Peter-man:** my ned

**Peter-man:** youd never betray me…

**Peter-man:** you wuv me too much

**Guy in chair:** blech

**Guy in chair:** how could i wuv u after how disgusting you were in eight grade camp

**Peter-man:** dang :/

**Peter-man:** man now i guess harley really is my only option for a high school romance how awful

**Peter-man:** ned look what youve done

**Guy in chair:** peter look at what youuuvvveee done

**Guy in chair:** oh god i cant even think about it

**Guy in chair:** you were a hellion goblin demon creature

**Guy in chair:** who could wuv that thing??

**Guy in chair:** and now youre a spider too?! Pete im afraid of spiders!

**Peter-man:** i think mj would like a hellion goblin demon spider creature

**Peter-man:** she drew one once actually

**Peter-man:** it was the strangest thing ive ever laid my eyes on

**1:36 AM**

**Peter-man:** Ned??

**1:50 AM**

**Peter-man:** lol nerd, you fell asleep at your phone :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ned and peter *wink wonk*  
> anyway it's been a while but dw i havent abandoned this i got busy rip


	8. Chapter 8

**10:35 AM**

**Princess <3 ** to **pretty girl**

 **Princess <3: **okay so i know ive talked with you not that much

 **Princess <3: **but youre really great

 **Princess <3: **and i may be rushing into this

 **Princess <3: **but hows about we go on a date

 **pretty girl:** shuri, we live on opposite ends of the world

 **Princess <3: **so your problem with this is purely logistical?

 **pretty girl:** yeah pretty much

 **pretty girl:** it seems… fun

 **pretty girl:** i mean, i gotta admit all of my crushes have turned out to be straight so this is new to me

 **pretty girl:** but even if we’re taking this waaay too fast

 **pretty girl:** id like to try

 **Princess <3: **we’re like that uhaul meme of lesbians moving in after the first date

 **Princess <3: **also logistically, im the princess of wakanda, literally inventing teleportation as we speak, and you think it’ll be a problem that we live on other sides of the planet

 **Princess <3: **honey, we’ll be less long distance then if i lived in new jersey

 **pretty girl:** you better be right because i am currently slacking off in class to talk to you

 **Princess <3: **no girlfriend of mine is gonna forgo her education!!

 **pretty girl:** well it gets pretty boring

 **pretty girl:** for one, youre not there

 **pretty girl:** for two, we’re not exactly inventing teleportation in class, i already know this stuff it’s baby calculus

 **pretty girl:** and yet…. i am stuck in this class

 **pretty girl:**  fuck the american education system

 **pretty girl:** princess, save me from this horror! whatever shall i do?

 **Princess <3: **ooh! here i’ll send you some stuff on partial differentials! It’s really interesting

 **pretty girl:** hgfdghhd nerd

 **Princess <3: **says you :p

 

**11:37 AM**

**_bad bitches_ **

**MJ:** asdfsafghjk

 **MJ:** i hab

 **MJ:** gorlf

 **MJ:** girlfrie

 **Ned:** it’s okay, take your time

 **MJ:** girlfriend!! Shuri!!

 **Peter:** oh my gosh

 **Peter:** for real?

 **MJ:** for real.

 **Peter:** mj, that's gaaaay

 **MJ:** says you (　｀_ゝ´)ﾑｯ

 **MJ:** anyway she's so cute

 **MJ:** we're uhauling you guys

 **Ned:** you so deserve her

 **MJ:** ikr??!?!

 **Peter:** yay no self doubt!

 **Ned:** dang you seem so happy

 **Ned:** I wish I had a boyf ://

 **Peter:** but ur perfect u don't need no man

 **MJ:** (¬‿¬ )

 **Peter:** shut up mj u know it's the truth

 **Ned:** okay but why won't u let me say the same about you

 **Peter:** SHUT UP NED

 **MJ:** ( ˘▽˘)っ♨

 **Ned:** why? ur like the most handsomest guy I know

 **Peter:** hnfhsjsk

 **Peter:** yeah SAYS YOU

 **Peter:** “YoUrE tHe HaNdSoMeSt” says the real handsomest

 **Ned:** ohohoho

 **Ned:** this is a battle of wills now

 **MJ:** it is time for a face off! round one! ¤=[]:::::>

 **Peter:** love yourself you genius

 **Ned:** uh yeah says the guy with a specialized internship from tony stark and discovered some new uses for a chemical compound that literally no one has thought of before

 **MJ:** peter you what

 **Peter:** it was _supposed_ to be confidential but then Ned found out and apparently he can't keep his beautiful mouth shut

 **Ned:** then make me shut up

 **Peter:** it's almost lunchtime! u know what, I will!

 **Ned:** fine!

 **peter:** good!

 **mj:** look you guys are hopeless no matter if I say this or not

 **mj:** please don't be following the “shut up” “make me” *kissy kissy* formula because we are at school and that would be supremely bad and dangerous

 **mj:** the big Gay is not Okay here

 

**12:20PM**

**Peter** to **MJ**

 **Peter:** how do I tell him I'm not gonna kiss him anymore without seeming mean because of the shut up make me without saying that I was actually gonna kiss him??

 

**12:21 PM**

**Ned** to **MJ**

 **Ned:** okay but what? do I say I wasnt trying to provoke him to make him kiss me?? mj help. if he think im mean he'll hate me but if i tell him i wanna kiss him he'll hate me too

 

**12:22**

**_bad bitches_ **

**mj:** omg u two chill out in the DMs

 **mj:** it's fine you're both fine with each other you both care about each other very much and we’re play fighting

 **mj:** neither of u are geniuses. ur smart titles are revoked.

 **mj:** learn! emotions!

 **peter:** says you

 **ned:** says you

 **mj:** :P

 

**4:01 PM**

Tony Stark watched Peter Parker mess around with some harmless chemicals in the lab. He didn't ask what Peter was doing even though it wasn't related to his main project. He was too enthralled to notice anything else around him and an engineer broken out of that concentration will never get their idea back. So, as he waited, Tony turned on his AR display and checked his e-mail.  He swiped through some unconfidential files, looked through some notices, and finally landed on a request from Pepper to see if he could come to a youth education funding gala and if he could bring one of the kids. Just then, Peter’s beaker spilled over.

“Shit,” he whispered, running over to the sink to scrub any chemicals off his hand. Once he came back to the table to clean up the beaker, he looked up, and noticed the email open. “Oh, Mr. Stark! Can I go to this gala? Please, please, please, ple-”

“Kid. You're not ready. It's brutal,” Tony said.

“I’m never gonna be ready!” Peter complained. “Plus, I'm freakin’ Spiderman! What could they do to me that hasn't been done in battle?” Tony raised his eyebrows.

“Destroy you emotionally?”

“Oh, I've been plenty trash talked!” Tony walked over to Peter, put a hand on his shoulder, and looked into his mentoree’s eyes.

“Not like this. They don't know who you are as Spiderman. But here? They'll hit where it hurts. They'll know who you are. And even though Harley never told me this, I know he stopped going to galas because of how awful people were.” Peter nodded and chewed his lip.

“One gala. And if you're right and get to say I told you so, I won't ask about them again?” Peter asked.

“Are you ever gonna let this go?” Tony asked. Peter shook his head. “Deal," Tony said.

“But I'm making you practice with the rest of the kids!”

“Perfect!”

 Tony walked back over to where he was standing, shook his head, and muttered under his breath, "You kids are too sweet."

 

**7:00 PM**

**guy in chair** to p **eter-man**

 **guy in chair:** please please pleeeease

 **peter-man:** spiderman is not going to that party! its stupid!

 **peter-man:** why'd you bring it up anyway?? this sucks now people think I'm even more of a liar.

 **guy in chair:** because you can use this to prove ur not lying!

 **guy in chair:** I’m really sorry Pete, I thought it'd help

 **peter-man:** its okay I just

 **peter-man:** I didn't want any reason to make it worse

 **guy in chair:** plus whatever they say, you've got me and mj. always.

 **peter-man:** I love u man I could never have asked for a better guy in chair

 **guy in chair:** and I could never have asked for a better super friend <3

 **peter-man:** <3

 **peter-man:** oh yeah i forgot to tell you

 **peter-man:** im not human, dr. banner thinks im a chimera

 **guy in chair:** wild

 **peter-man:** ikr??

 

**11:43PM**

**peter-man:** NED IM SORRU FOR DITCHING SOME CRAZY SHIT HAPPENED

 **peter-man:** *SORRY

 **peter-man:** THERE WERE BAD PEOPLE BUT NOT LIKE THE NORMAL MUGGERS AND STUFF I STOP. LIKE IT WAS SOME REAL SERIOUS SHIT!

 **peter-man:** LIKE ALIEN WEAPONS

 **guy in chair:** oh my god no need to apologize

 **guy in chair:** you didn't miss too much anyway

 **guy in chair:** flash was being a dick as usual

 **guy in chair:** did u tell mr stark??

 **peter-man:** yes! he had to rescue me! i fell into water and i was so panicked i felt like i was gonna drown!

 **peter-man:** he told me not to get involved with them because theyre so dangerous

 **peter-man:** but i cant just stand down and do nothing

 ******guy in chair:** hey Pete calm down it'll be okay

 **guy in chair:** it’s all gonna be okay

 **guy in chair:** you always have me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while! ive had some stuff going on but im getting back intot he swing of this story! i think therell be more next week!

**Author's Note:**

> [hit me up on tumblr](https://honey-stick.tumblr.com/)


End file.
